the insidious technological corruption of american children

OK Boomer

Over the course of about the last six months, I have spent my Monday evenings with middle school boys. The work has been great–the kids are smart, hardworking, resilient, utterly hysterical–and we have done them a massive disservice by integrating technology into their education and their lives. 

Now I know what you’re thinking: This pretentious luddite thinks technology bad! Doesn’t she know many opportunities are in the tech industry? It’s the fuuuuutuuureeee!!!! 

To which I respond: Ask the 25% of Meta employees that got fired this year how they feel about that lucrative industry! 

The recent AI explosion has proven that most tech bros, even with all their Patagonia quarter-zips and optimized daily routines, are careening towards employment obsolescence. So, jokes on you, Mr. Hansen (my high school Algebra teacher and lifetime Public Enemy No. 1), my humanities classes ended up being pretty valuable after all. 

The ease at which an open source AI that can’t even properly make my citations for my research papers automated almost an entire industry certainly helps affirm my Kazinskian apprehension towards the full-throttle dive into the integration of technology to the education of children. Regardless of the employment opportunities in the tech industry, their constant use of screens and well-established social media and gaming addictions has had detrimental effects on academic performance and cognitive development. The consequences of technological integration in the classroom aren’t just visible in high-brow psych studies; they are obvious from just about any interaction with someone who was born after 2008. 

Most of the kids I tutor do not have a single pencil in their backpack. It’s not like they are forgetful or lack care; they literally do not need a single writing utensil for a full day of school. This isn’t just a kitschy anecdote detailing how much times have changed; it represents the degradation of the quality of education our kids receive. 

I was working on a math assignment with an eighth grader (on the school districts’ selected online pre-algebra software, obviously), and when I suggested we work out the problem on a sheet of paper, he looked at me like I had just repeatedly hit myself over the head with a stainless steel pan while dressed like Bobo the clown. As soon as we started working out exponential fractions on a sheet of paper, the material started to click. The student I was working with told me they had learned more in our two hour session than they had throughout most of the school year. They carefully placed every sheet of scrap paper we used in a folder in their backpack and seemed to actually understand and enjoy the work they had done. 

The interaction stuck with me–I had watched the Chromebook v. lined paper battle play out in real time, and the spiral notebook was a first-round knockout champion. So why are teachers, who are passionate, caring people, opting for software programs that are inferior? The answer, as usual, is the federal government. 

This dilemma speaks to one of many fundamental flaws of the US Public School System: teachers have no control over what their kids learn. They are tasked with managing increasingly degenerate creatures while ensuring that each one of those prescription stimulant-addled mini humans passes the State Board of Education standardized exam so the school district can bathe in all that cashmonaaay. 

It doesn’t matter that teachers are widely reporting the diminishing academic performance and socio-behavioral development of American children. It doesn’t matter that there is a visible, fundamental gap in learning between traditional education methods and this whole modern technology nonsense. Bureaucratic administrators that opt to spend nearly 20% of their federal funding on education software that doesn’t really work have corporate interests to please, appearances to maintain, and school board elections to win! There is simply no room for the silly business of making sure children can read and write! 

Even if the software programs schools are using for every subject were effective, the academic shortcuts bequeathed to students through open internet access severely diminish the likelihood of kids developing any actual skills. Sure, the kids I tutor can copy and paste like wizards. The youngest kids, first graders, know their way around a Chromebook better than your boomer boss. Spelling? Who needs it! Auto-correct and Google have you covered. Simple arithmetic? These kids carry the most powerful calculator known to man in their pockets.

I’m a huge fan of the work-smarter-not-harder methodology, but, unfortunately for these kids, everything they can do on their computer is null and void because the computer can also do the same things, but for freeee and a whole lot faster. By putting a laptop in the hands of every child, we are priming them to enter the workforce with zero practical skills and hardly any critical thinking capabilities. 

The long term consequences of technology in the classroom is already playing out as the eldest members of Gen Z, the ultimate canary in the coal mine for all the postmodernist fuckery, enter the American workforce. Vice presidents of advertising and consultant managements everywhere are bemoaning the ineptitude of their newest hires from the rooftops, arguing that Gen Z is not only incapable but really, really terrible to work with on an interpersonal level. 

Now stick with me, because I’m going to cross into commie territory briefly but only to make a point: the path to liberation and upward social mobility is by means of a proper education. As administrators take the objectively lazy option of computer software to educate America’s children over actual teachers, classic literature, critical thinking, and quantitative reasoning, they are effectively immobilizing an entire generation. Call me crazy, but the way we educate kids should not resemble class warfare. 

I could care less about kids getting exposed to the sick, sad world of the internet–watching a LiveLeak video of a military beheading is good character development–but there has to be some sort of separation between video games and education. The diminished quality of education resulting from these incredibly expensive online school programs is indisputable, and the lack of pushback from educators proves that the only people who benefit from online curriculum and the insidious service that is Google Classroom are the teachers who no longer have to spend their Friday nights reading the handwriting of thirty-seven six year olds and the tech companies (and I hate to see them win more than ANYTHING!)